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第7章 天下第一会

　　Of course they did; for I felt their eyes directed likeburning-glasses against my scorched skin.

　　'Yes.'

　　'For one thing, I have no father or mother, brothers or sisters.'

　　'Mais oui, certainement.'

　　I went to my window, opened it, and looked out. There were thetwo wings of the building; there was the garden; there were the skirtsof Lowood; there was the hilly horizon. My eye passed all otherobjects to rest on those most remote, the blue peaks; it was those Ilonged to surmount; all within their boundary of rock and heath seemedprison-ground, exile limits. I traced the white road winding round thebase of one mountain, and vanishing in a gorge between two; how Ilonged to follow it farther! I recalled the time when I hadtravelled that very road in a coach; I remembered descending that hillat twilight; an age seemed to have elapsed since the day which broughtme first to Lowood, and I had never quitted it since. My vacations hadall been spent at school: Mrs. Reed had never sent for me toGateshead; neither she nor any of her family had ever been to visitme. I had had no communication by letter or message with the outerworld: school-rules, school-duties, school-habits and notions, andvoices, and faces, and phr

　　'Can it be you, Jane?' she asked, in her own gentle voice.

　　April advanced to May: a bright, serene May it was; days of bluesky, placid sunshine, and soft western or southern gales filled up itsduration. And now vegetation matured with vigour; Lowood shook looseits tresses; it became all green, all flowery; its great elm, ash, andoak skeletons were restored to majestic life; woodland plants sprangup profusely in its recesses; unnumbered varieties of moss filledits hollows, and it made a strange ground-sunshine out of the wealthof its wild primrose plants: I have seen their pale gold gleam inovershadowed spots like scatterings of the sweetest lustre. All this Ienjoyed often and fully, free, unwatched, and almost alone: for thisunwonted liberty and pleasure there was a cause, to which it nowbecomes my task to advert.

　　'Because fifteen pounds is not enough for board and teaching, andthe deficiency is supplied by subscription.'

　　My seat, to which Bessie and the bitter Miss Abbot had left meriveted, was a low ottoman near the marble chimney-piece; the bed rosebefore me; to my right hand there was the high, dark wardrobe, withsubdued, broken reflections varying the gloss of its panels; to myleft were the muffled windows; a great looking-glass between themrepeated the vacant majesty of the bed and room. I was not quitesure whether they had locked the door; and when I dared move, I got upand went to see. Alas! yes: no jail was ever more secure. Returning, Ihad to cross before the looking-glass; my fascinated glanceinvoluntarily explored the depth it revealed. All looked colder anddarker in that visionary hollow than in reality: and the strangelittle figure there gazing at me, with a white face and armsspecking the gloom, and glittering eyes of fear moving where allelse was still, had the effect of a real spirit: I thought it like oneof the tiny phantoms, half fairy, half imp, Bessie's evening storiesrepresented as coming out of lone, f